The Guide to Parenting

 "Places Everyone!"

     Do you ever feel like your family is like a sitcom and everyone has their own specific role to play? You have your budget tight dad who's still a little immature for his age. Your mom, who will always worry over you and asks you to text her when you get done from the walk to your house. Then the usual little siblings who always want to tag along on what you're doing and steal your personality. Your older siblings act like an extension to your parents until they accidentally hit you a little too hard with a pillow and beg you not to cry. Then you have the guest stars which can be your neighborhood best friends that were always at your house or your grandparents that let you drive way before you were old enough. Sounds just like Modern Family.   

        Alright, maybe if your family had a sitcom, they wouldn't sound just like that but that's ok every family is different. This week I got the chance to think about my family and how we each play a role in making our family work. Like a set of gears, we all go together at least most of the time we do, sometimes it's more like grinding. I'd like to think that I'm the peace maker in my family. Being a middle child is like being a chain, linking the older and the younger siblings together. Comment below if you’re a middle child and can relate.  

 

              This week I also learned that what role you play in your family isn't always a healthy one. I heard about a boy who had done drugs by the time he was twelve. Why? Because he felt that when he was in trouble, he brought his family together. His parents grew closer as they tried to help their son. His siblings stopped fighting and he felt like that was the role he played in his family. It's crazy to think that such a small boy felt like he had the weight of keeping his family together on his shoulders. I was told once that the most important relationship of a family was the father and mother's relationship. Coming from a blended family, it was a hard pillow to swallow because I didn’t like the fact that my mother and stepfather’s relationship was more important than hers and mine. I was being a little selfish. But the more I get older the more I realize that that’s true. If the mother and father aren't getting along then the family falls apart. If mom and dad aren't getting along the chances are that the children aren't either. Think about how you felt when your parents were fighting, it's scary and it makes you feel unsafe. Now think about a time where your parents showed affection for each other. Whether it was playful teasing, a quick kiss, or even something as simple as them saying I love you. It makes you feel safe, like everything is going to be ok because you have these loving parents to guide you. Parents are the core of every family. 

 It's interesting to think that even in the Bible parents get a little advice that they should cleave to each other. It's like somehow God already knew that parents were central to the family.  

 

 

         What role do you play in your family? Are you the peacemaker? The one who makes sure the family doesn't lose touch after everyone has moved away or the one who grinds the gears a little bit? I invite you to look at your family and the roles everyone plays. Do you like the role you play? I know that families are so important, even if your family isn't the one you were born into, we would lose our support system without them.