The Guide to Parenting

The Guide to Parenting  

Growing up I would hear the phrase “Take it easy on your parents, they are parenting without a guidebook.” This phrase is true. Many people have children when they are still children themselves. Now not only are they trying to figure out lives for themselves, they now support this little human being they love so much. Children 100% depend on their parents for everything, how scary is that? When you’re a parent you receive this responsibility for your whole life!  

I remember talking to my sister when she had her baby boy about what it felt like to be a parent. She said it was the scariest thing she's ever had to do but also the most rewarding. She can't imagine her life without him. As humans we crave growth and the need to be better than we were years ago. Becoming a parent is one of the biggest jumps to growth and bettering yourself. You now must be accountable to another human who desperately relies on you.  

So where do you start? After all, being a parent is the biggest thing, you can do, so how can you raise your child to be a functioning and healthy adult who doesn't live in your basement and play video games? Be an active parent while they are young! Don't wait to discipline them and give them choices. Think of children as a mini scientists and you are their teacher. Show them that they can come to you with questions and look to you for directions.  

Behind children's big doe like eyes and camel long eyelashes is a brain that needs direction. Children will test you. They want to know the limits and far they can get away with something, before they get in trouble. Show them that not only do you love them but that you love them so much that you give them limits. For example, what do you do when a child is a picky eater and doesn’t want to finish any of their food? Some parents might try the airplane trick, some may not require their children to eat their food, and some may coax eating with promises of dessert at the end. I think the best way is to sit with the toddler and show them that they need to finish their food by picking up the spoon and feeding it to them. Even if they resist, they cry, and the dinner table looks more like a battle zone rather than a nicer family meal. Remember the toddler wants to see how far they can go with you to show them that you are the parent. But most important after every spoonful the child eats pat them on the head and show praise by saying “Good girl!” or “Wow! You’re almost done!” 

High expectations without love will only make the child feel not loved. Praising a child and showing them, you care about them enough to sit down and help them eat will tell them you care. Spend time with your child and guide them. Some of my favorite memories with my parents are when we are talking, and I feel like they are listening to me. My parents were strict with me at times. As a teen I thought they were doing it because they just like to hear the word no. But now I see that they loved me and wanted me to be safe, that’s why they cared where I went and who I was with. So, discipline the child and show them you care about them by being involved with their lives even if that means that you're not their best friend all the time. Your aim for your child is to give them their best chance.