The Guide to Parenting

Big Mistake! Huge!

    Have yall ever seen Pretty Women? Well, I'll give you a small summary just in case. A woman who is a prostitute gets picked up by a wealthy man who is bent on making her presentable to high class society. At first, it's hard for her to fit in. She goes shopping at an expensive store in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination and the sales ladies barely give her the time of day. They tell her with their noses in the air that they think she's in the wrong store. We can imagine that they are the type of people that would pay hundreds for a high name brand purse that they will only use once and then place somewhere as decoration. In the end the women get her delicious revenge by spending lots of money at another store and comes back looking like a million bucks and tells them what a huge mistake they made. It's very satisfying, I highly recommend watching it.  

So, what does Pretty Women have to do with families you might ask? Well, I'm stretching here but it's about class and culture. This week I watched a video about families in the upper class and what it would be like to marry into that family. It sounds clique but they really do have their own little world. There is no stress about spending money on basic needs in fact it can feel like they throw it around just because they can. Everyone seems so out of touch, drinking and talking about the next material thing they want to buy. Imagine coming from nothing and then feeling like you have to change who you are ot fit inside a world that your spouse grew up in. To me it would feel like wearing a halloween costume to a cocktail party, everyone is wondering who the heck let you in here.  

Everyone grows up in a different household with different rules and varying cultures. A culture in a home doesn't have to be just where you're from it can also be the culture between your siblings, parents, and relationships.  

Growing up with two separate households, there were two cultures for me. My dad's house was like a fun house. No chores, we could watch whatever we wanted, and since the fridge consisted of ingredients that could only make condiment soup, we went to McDonalds for dinner. The culture at my dad's house was very laid back and there weren't many rules. I didn’t see my dad a lot when I was a kid so whenever we did see him, we wanted to spend as much time as posable with him.  

     

My mom's house was completely different growing up. And when I switched between my mom's house and my dad's house it was like having to adjust between the different cultures. Like I had to switch my role and play a different one at my mom's house vs my dad's. It’s a little more tough to describe what the culture was like at my mom's house so I'll use a metaphor to get my point across and spare you the details. It's like when you try to mix oil and water together and it never really blends. You have to work really hard to try to get it to blend but as soon as you stop “mixing” the oil and water don’t group together. Im not saying that the oil and water hated each other just that there needed to be more effort to blend.  

What kind of culture did your family have growing up? 

Now just to switch things up just a bit. This week I read one of the most heartbreaking stories ever. You know what I'm talking about, you see it on the news every day. Families immigrating from Mexico to the U.S. I've always known about it, but I don’t know why I've never put myself in their shoes before. Fathers leave their families for anywhere up to six years to work in America and send money home. Imagine leaving your own home to go to a country where some people publicly announce that they don’t want you here.  

People change when they are far apart, relationships evolve or disintegrate. Kids grow up and learn how to make it without a father or mother figure in life or at least they try. Then when they get back together, things aren't the same and they must learn how to be a family again. It is hard to try to heal when your family has grown so distant. And other priorities like work and school can get in the way of family time. I admire parents who love their children so much that they will do anything for them to get the best that life offers. Mexican immigrates are strong people I'm privileged to be able to work around people who have immigrated from Mexico to America and I'm always in awe of their resilience to keep fighting even when things look bleak. What you do if you were in their shoes?